Trust. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..."
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture..."
There are many commands to trust the Lord in the Word, and there are many promises given to those who do.
The Lord share with me a recipe for Trust last year - and I was reminded of the vitality of it again recently -
T - Turn it over: whatever it is that is troubling you, turn it over to the God who cares for you and is infinitely able to hold it.
R - Repent: Lack faith and trust in Him is sin and separates us from Him
U - "You": Our trust should be centered (just like the U is in the centre of the word) on God: His ability, His love, His faithfulness, His wisdom.
S - Stay. Remain in that place of trust and rest. Actively remain.
T - Thanks: Give thanks. Give thanks before receiving. Give thanks in the midst of the unknown.

Faithfulness over Fear

Ezra 3:3

Although they were surrounded by enemies, who didn't want them back in Jerusalem, and detractors, who didn't believe in what they were doing, the Israelites were faithful to what God called them to do: rebuild the Temple.

They felt afraid, but they didn't allow fear to stop them from being faithful.
How am I allowing fear to stop me from being faithful to what God has called me to do?

A post-Christmas post on a pre-Christmas ponder

In preparation for Christmas, I was reading in Isaiah 8 (leading up to Isaiah 9: one of the prophecies fulfilled in Jesus's birth) and when reading the following verses I stopped to ponder...

Isaiah 8:11-9:1

(13-14)“The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, He is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary…”

This implies a choice for us. To regard someone with a certain character trait means we have to focus on that, choose to see that person in that way – in line with truth. This goes beyond our feelings, but is anchored (and anchors us) in truth, in reality. The Lord Almighty isholy, and we are faced with the choice to regard him as that, to line up our thinking with truth. When I think about the word ‘regard’, I think of a lens through which we view others’ actions and words, how we see them.

Holy – I’m reminded of the verse later in Isaiah where God tells us that His ways are not like our ways, His are infinitely higher (55:8-9). Fear – I’ve often struggled with the frequent commands throughout God’s Word to ‘Fear God.’ Even as I think on it now, the verse “Perfect love casts out all fear” comes to mind, so maybe as we begin to love Him more, rightful fear is swallowed up in love. I was wrestling with the word ‘dread’ – God is deserving of a feeling of dread by sinful hearts, like Adam hid from Him in the Garden, dreading the conviction that comes with the light of His presence.

When we do regard Him as holy (view Him with an understanding of His character as He presents Himself to us), when we do fear Him (so that we do not fear the darkness, the false judges of our lives: our own feelings, others’ perceptions), when we do dread Him – then He will be our sanctuary: our place of safety, rest and security.

He is stronger than any of the world’s changing philosophies, than our ephemeral emotions, than the enemy’s strategies and schemings; Holy, Fearful, Dreaded keeps the enemy at bay and His child safe and held.

A thrill of hope - Christmas Eve

Since I can remember, I’ve deeply loved Christmas Eve, especially after everyone has gone to bed, and the house is quiet. Many Christmas Eves have found me listening to Christmas carols at the foot of a lighted Christmas tree. A quiet, holy blanket settles on my soul at this time – reminding me that in Jesus my every need, known and unknown, felt and yet unfelt, is fully met. 

This Christmas Eve is no different. The family has all gone to bed (as a matter of fact, Mia, our large dog, has settled herself onto my side of the bed…) – and I am here, soaking in the precious and wondrous truth that the God who set life in motion, who is still expanding the universe, reached out for me. 

Over the past couple of days, I've been pondering Isaiah 8 & 9. The second half of chapter 8 establishes that when we are not grounded in God, we are lost: in darkness, distress, despair, even cursing God, and seeing nothing good in heaven or earth. Then comes chapter 9: "Nevertheless.." I love how often God's word pivots on a word, and this time, it's nevertheless. Even though we were far, even though we said "No," even though we had declared ourselves His enemies - He said 'Nevertheless' and sends His Son, the Child, the Light, the Answer that we all so desperately need - whether we know it or not. And He is all: Counselor, Father, God, Prince of Peace.

Let me share what I hear with you, the words of one of my favourite Christmas carols, "O Holy Night": 

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 

Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope. The weary world rejoices.

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees. O hear the angel voices..."

And those voices resounded with "Good news of Great Joy that will be for all the people..." (Luke 2:10)

A call... (thoughts from September)

I have often struggled with 'me'. Often wishing, thinking that I should be different than I am, bemoaning my traits, belittling the 'me' that I am. Trying hard to force my shape into that of the cookie-cutter ideal I see. But I never stay in that shape, and I'm not happy in that shape.
Yet, there is a balance -- as Jesus tells me to deny myself, so I cannot just assume that as I am is as He wants me to be...

I read a poem this morning by Mary Oliver titled "The Other Kingdoms":

"Consider the other kingdoms... the creatures, with...their infallible sense of what their lives are meant to be. Thus the world grows rich, grows wild, and you too, grow rich, grow sweetly wild, as you too were born to be." 

Her words reminded me of Jesus' words to His disciples, His words to me: "Consider the lilies of the field... consider the birds of the air.."
As I follow His lead, I learn - but it is in the following.

"The grand point is not to wear the garb, nor use the brogue of religion, but to possess the life of God within, and feel and think as Jesus would have done because of that inner life. Small is the value of external religion unless it is the outcome of a life within."
CH Spurgeon "Spiritual Parenting" p. 154

Joy Dare - July 7

Gift of Challenge, Conflict and Change
These three are summed up in one for me right now : parenting.  Actually, two - and marriage.
Parenting holds the challenging reality that I am shaping other eternal creatures lives, the conflict of growing personalities bumping into one another (and mine) and change, well, kids don't stay the same for very long, do they?  Nor do they allow my plans to stay in place long, either.
In marriage there is a continual challenge to love another more than myself, the conflict of two living as one flesh, and the need for me to change and to be changed.  This is my Father's will for me - and it is good, very good - not always easy.  (A thought on conflict too: it is not always a negative thing.  It is through conflict that we are shaped: "As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17)
These four relationships are not only jewel-like gifts in themselves, but the challenge, conflict and change that they present drive me back to my Father for wisdom, grace - and oh, everything.

So thank you, my Father.

Still counting.

(Although I have not been posting these here - I have been counting and thanking.)

115. the first thing in the morning snuggle of the littlest boy.

116. a deep breath of dusky summer air

117. the stirring of wind-touched trees

118. ... and ears to hear the sounds

119. a good place to live and make a home

120. the Father's protection over my boys

121. a new season of life and all the surprises that my Lord has planned ahead

122. new and good friends

123. the coolness of a rain-drizzled morning after days of hanging heat

124. a child's footsteps in the morning

125. a colourful stripey cup

126. a God who came

127. the He is full of compassion

128. good books

129. laughter

130. the astounding variety of bird calls

131. the laughing call of a kookaburra

132. memories floating by on my computer screen

133. the dry cracking buzz of a cicada in flight

134. the focussed interest of a boy- intent on catching skimmer bugs to give them 'a happy life' in his aquarium

135. the sun rising and casting more light

136. the early light creeping down the trees

137. the sure knowledge of His great love

138. the mist hanging low on the hills

139. the opportunity to teach

140. a child's excitement that wakes him early and keeps him up

141. quiet that bookends my day

142. being home

143. garbage trucks trundling away my rubbish

144. a dad and his wife who look for ways to bless us all the while pouring love and attention into the boys

145. the boisterous sounds of boys at play

I want to keep counting, to keep naming, to keep being aware - because I am finding that in this simple act of naming His gifts given to me, I am seeing Him.

It's been a while...

"Moses returned to the Lord and said, 'O Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people...and you have not rescued your people at all.'" (Exodus 5:22-23)

How often I have brought a similar charge to lay at God's feet, verbalized or silently. When circumstances get to the point where I feel like I am in far beyond my ability, when relationships are challenging or stale, when long-standing situations seem stagnant - then I accuse God, like a petulant child.

What I do not do is wait - trustingly wait. Believe and watch.

God answers Moses, not with a rebuke but with an affirmation of his own character, "I am the Lord." He bookends his reply to Moses with the assertion of who he is, because He is the reason we can believe, we can trust and we will see his deliverance. Even when Moses reminded the Israelites of God's character, "they did not listen because of their discouragement and cruel bondage" (6:9); that did not deter God.

My moments of discouragement do not discourage God - He reminds me to lift my eyes to his unchangeable self and to still and quiet my soul "like a weaned child with its mother" (Psalm 131:2). For He does not change - He is.

Thank you, Father.

An encouragement

Yesterday at church the pastor shared some wonderful truth from God's word that I have been pondering...

2 Peter 1:4 "Through these [His glory and goodness] He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature..."

I have to go now, but I'd like to share more here later.

Do you ever wonder?

Do you ever wonder if you are doing the right thing?

Do you ever wonder if homeschooling is the best thing for your kids?

Do you ever wonder if you are the best teacher for your kids?

Do you ever wonder if this is really what God wants you to be doing?

Do you ever wonder how you got here? And where here is?

I do.

Help me, Lord, to see. And hear.

A morning prayer

Lord Jesus,

I give you this day - this day that you have given me - fill it as you see fit.

Help me to accept with joy the people, the circumstances You allow into my life this day.

May I see You, honour You and bring pleasure to Your heart and glory to Your name.

Come fill me, Holy Spirit.

Faith

"Where lies the secret strength of faith? It lies in the food it feeds on; for faith studies what the promise is - an emanation of divine grace, an overflowing of the great heart of God ..."
-- CH Spurgeon

(If you want to read the whole of this thought, you can access it at Brandon Staggs website and there are more "Morning and Evening" devotions online at Daily Dose of Spurgeon.)

Worry

It comes in at odd times. Some mornings it slinks into my waking thoughts, whispering in my heart's ear. Some nights it trumpets me awake with crashing and crushing thoughts. When there are unexpected late returns or illness, it teases my imagination into fearful possibilities.

But I have a choice. Like my grandmother used to say, "You can't stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair." Those fleeting thoughts of worry, of doubt, the temptation to mistrust my Heavenly Father will come - but I do not have to invite them in for a cup of tea. I can, and I must, turn to my Father and put my hand in His and put my trust in His unfailing love.

I must rehearse again and again all the ways He has met our needs, and so often our desires, with faithfulness and abundance. And I must go beyond my own experiences too, to His unchanging promises. So I have to remind myself of what He has said.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me." John 14:1

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns; and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:25-26

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6

For He is good. And He does not change.

105 and more

105. laughter

106. the wisdom of others

107. the honest enthusiasm of a child

108. the muted splendor of a morning sky

109. a mother who travels around the world to wash my dishes, do my laundry, love on my kids and just generally be a blessing

110. healing for a pony

111. an anniversary present of a fuzzy hat

112. 10 years of Your grace and countless glimpses of Your love through this man

113. A sister who rejoices in giving - and delights in blessing her nephews

114. These Truths: that You provide, that You hear, that You are pleased with faith (even if it is the size of a mustard seed), that faith does not see with these eyes of flesh...

Oh my Father, You are so good. Please strengthen my faith as I lift my eyes to You.

96...

96. hard work

97. the steady sound of rain and the glow of morning sun in the same moment

98. a garden to plant in

99. a garden to anticipate the harvesting of

100. good neighbours

(from the boys)

101. that I could have my big two brothers and my Mum and my Dad to help me do things (Nate)

102. goats, Flash, cats and ponies (Ben)

103. opportunity to work and friends that love (Sam)

104. warm blankets on my bed

Good night! :)

How can I?

This is my question for the day (and most likely 'days').

How can I, like our first mother Eve, be a bringer of life? In this place, at this time, to this husband, to these children, to these neighbours, to these friends - how can I follow in the footsteps of Him Who is the Life?

Words, words, words

If you were a fly on the wall at my house lately you might have heard me quietly singing (muttering) to myself: "Words, words, words I'm so sick of words. I hear words all day long first from him now from you."

(Envision an impassioned Audrey Hepburn in "My Fair Lady" if you are wondering where that random phrase comes from.)

But really, it is my own words I am feeling sick of. Sometimes I get lost in my own words - and I wonder how much good I am really doing for my children with all these words. Are they drowning in the torrent of my words? Sometimes they get that glazed over look which is the warning light - I've lost them.

I have been made aware of by friends over the years that I restate things, oh, a few too many times. (And my husband agrees.) It is part of my search for just the right words... but there is only one truly right Word. Jesus. He is the Word my children need - that I need. It is His Spirit who must breathe life into my words if there is to be lasting benefit from my many failing words.

Maybe my words need to be fewer so my children can hear Him better.

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." (Colossians 3:16)

"For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)

May I be filled with Your Words so that I speak life to my children - to all whose lives I touch.

Mother's Day - a reflection

Motherhood.

I am not a Hallmark card kind of mother. No painted fingernails, just nibbled ones. I don't think I am one of those people for whom motherhood comes naturally for that matter.

What is motherood really about?

Discipleship.

A one foot ahead of the other following of Jesus into servanthood. In motherhood Jesus gives me the opportunity (sometimes it feels like every minute) to deny myself, take up a cross and follow Him. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying my children are a burden. I think it is my own selfish nature that is the burden. My children are one of God's graces to me.

Thank you Lord for the gift of being a mother.

Slow down

I have just put the boys to bed.

It is often at these moments that I glimpse what is vitally important

a slow tasting of time with them.

Sometimes I believe I am too busy to slow even then - there's the dishes to do, the rooms to be tidied, the laundry to be put away, there's the... and the .... and the... and the list goes on.

To slow down, to take the time to really see and to truly listen - that is my privilege as a mother. It is my privilege to see how their hearts are growing. To listen to their stories.

But, oh, how rarely do I really do that.

There is always the next thing to be done -

usually something that feels terribly urgent, but is not vital.

At least not in God's economy.

As their breathing slows, I take the time to breathe. Relishing the very breath that God has given me. Reminding myself how very dependent I am on the Breath of Life - the God of heaven and earth.

Thank You, dearest Father - for bedtime.

For all the precious reminders to slow down. And live.